Hey y’all, I’m Maria, and I’m excited to join Team Gaia! I’ll be blogging about self-care, a topic that is near and dear to my heart. I’m a channeler and an acupuncturist, and I think nurturing ourselves is the most important thing we can do on this sometimes-wacky life journey. Nice to meet you!
Life is pretty crazytown these days!
Lots of people I talk to are having all sorts of out-of-the-blue experiences. Unanticipated drama, unexpected changes, career surprises, relationship shifts, the loss of loved ones… And I’m experiencing this, too.
When life is feeling a bit much, as it has been, it reminds me how important self-care is.
I don't mean warm baths, cups of tea, or yoga. Those can be useful, but I’m talking about a deeper version of self-care.
For me, this is about the steps I take to ensure I’m remaining my priority when the world is moving quickly and flexibility is an asset.
I’m NOT talking about when everything is great for me and I have one friend going through a rough time. When that occurs, I certainly have the reserves to be there for them.
But let’s face it: these are trying times. The world is changing fast and many of us have quite a lot on our plates.
I simply don’t have the energy and time that I had in the past to cope with the struggles of others. And, as I’ve learned, I’m not sure I SHOULD be trying to cope with their struggles.
Here’s the thing: I’ve had to re-train myself to stay out of other people's business.
This can be tough. When people I love have “situations” happening, I want to go to them, to help out, to surround them with love and support. This is perfectly natural!
I’ve learned, the hard way, that expressing support and giving a damn is one thing; getting wrapped up in other people’s emotions/experiences/drama is another – and unfortunately, this is what I’ve tended to do.
I care for them and want to reduce their emotional load… but those subtle (and not so subtle!) ways I tried to do that were pretty draining for me.
And when there’s a lot going on in my life, I don’t have the oomph to deal with that drain.
That’s why right now, self-care for me is about reserving the energy I DO have.
Processing what I am already experiencing takes energy. Being present and available for my commitments when I’m tense takes more energy then it normally does. Plus, my introvert-ish tendencies mean when I am stressed, I look for more alone time.
So how do I go about offering whole-hearted support without feeling drained, or worse, resentful of the time and energy spent?
1. I keep the emotions of others in context - they are THEIR emotions. I can feel for what they are going through, without actually feeling WHAT they are going through.
This is a conscious re-frame that I’m working through, and affirmations is one of my tools. Try this one:
My feelings come from within me – others’ feelings come from within them.
2. I remember to keep setting solid energetic boundaries.
This is super important for me. If I don’t do it, I can get energetically wrapped up in a situation that has nothing to do with me. Sound familiar?
The affirmation I use for this one is:
I can care for others and remain responsible only for myself.
3. Since sometimes our dramas are self-induced, I strive to keep in mind that we’re all on a journey. Our life experiences help mold us, and tough times are an opportunity for growth (I’m the eternal optimist!).
Keeping this in mind helps me to respect and honor where my loved one is at and the choices that they’re making. It also helps keep me from jumping in to “fix” it when I don’t agree with said choices.
This affirmation is my favorite :-)
I empower myself to choose, and I contribute to others’ empowerment by respecting their choices.
These affirmations, coupled with remaining conscious of how I want to frame my care and compassion for others, have proven really useful in shifting my relationship with self. My comfort with putting myself first has really grown.
I hope you find these affirmation useful, too!
Maria channels, blogs, and helps you work thru your forays into crazytown at www.mariachanneling.com